Identity and verification
Story didn't add up (age, job, location)
The profile said 38, the messages say 45. They live in your city but the timestamps are on the other side of the world. The job is engineer, then surgeon, then 'contractor'. Small slips that people notice, and then notice more of.
What it looks like
- Facts that shift between messages, or contradict the profile.
- A time zone that doesn't match where they say they are.
- A job with no specifics, or specifics that a quick search disproves.
- Photos of a place that isn't where they claim to be.
Why do the details keep changing?
One person may be running dozens of conversations from a script, and the details of yours are easy to mix up. Profiles are built from stolen photos and invented backgrounds, so nothing is anchored to a real life. It works because most people give strangers the benefit of the doubt, and because pointing out a slip feels rude.
What to do
- Write down what they've told you and check it against what they say next.
- Search their name with the employer and city. Search their photos.
- Ask a question only someone actually there could answer, then ask it again a week later.
- If money enters the picture, the inconsistencies were the warning. The four signs.
More in the tips: Dating and new online friends.
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