Behavior patterns
Wanted disappearing messages
They turn on disappearing messages, or ask you to, early in the conversation. Sometimes it's framed as privacy, sometimes as excitement. Combined with a push toward money, photos, or a meeting, people report it as a way to make sure nothing they said could be shown to anyone.
What it looks like
- 'Let's turn on disappearing messages, I don't like things being saved.'
- Timers set to the shortest option.
- Annoyance if you screenshot anything.
- Key promises or requests made only in messages that vanish.
Why would someone insist on disappearing messages?
Evidence is a problem for anyone planning to ask for something they shouldn't. Vanishing messages mean no screenshots for a friend, no record for the app or the police, and no way for you to reread the story and notice it changing. Privacy is a good reason to use these features. A stranger insisting on them for you is a different thing.
What to do
- Turn them off, or say you'd rather keep a record. See how they react.
- Screenshot anything that matters: promises, requests, payment details.
- If money or intimate images come up under a timer, treat that as the answer.
- Report the profile if the pattern continues, and add the number here.
More in the tips: Dating and new online friends.
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