Safety and coercion
Pushed to meet somewhere isolated
They want the first meeting at their place, in a parked car, at a trailhead, or late at night somewhere quiet, and they resist a cafe or a busy shop. Sometimes it's a marketplace pickup that keeps moving to a stranger location. People report it as the moment their gut said no.
What it looks like
- 'Just come to mine, it's easier' before you've met at all.
- Objections to every public option: too loud, too far, too expensive.
- A meeting spot that changes at the last minute to somewhere emptier.
- Wanting you to come alone, or asking who knows where you'll be.
What's wrong with a private spot for a first meeting?
Somewhere public with people around is a safety net. Removing it removes your options and witnesses, whether the intent is robbery, assault, or simply control. Pressure to skip that step often comes wrapped in flattery or impatience so that insisting on it feels uptight.
What to do
- First meetings happen in public, in daylight, and you get there under your own steam. No exceptions.
- Tell a friend where you're going and who with. Share your location.
- For marketplace pickups, many police stations offer safe exchange spots.
- If you feel unsafe now, contact local emergency services. Report the profile to the app afterwards.
More in the tips: Dating and new online friends.
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