Pressure and moving off the app
Wouldn't video call or verify
Weeks of daily messages, but the video call never happens: bad signal, broken camera, working somewhere it isn't allowed. On its own it's a small thing. Combined with a money ask or a story about being far away, it's a familiar pattern.
What it looks like
- Every call gets rescheduled, or connects for a moment and 'drops'.
- They send lots of photos but nothing live: no selfie holding today's date, no video, no in-app verification.
- When you insist, they get emotional: 'don't you trust me?'
- A video does happen, but it's short, blurry, and the face never turns or moves naturally.
Is refusing a video call a sign of a scam?
The photos belong to someone else, so a live call would end the story. Refusing outright looks bad, so the refusal is dressed up as bad luck or a rule at work. Faked video does exist now, which is why a glitchy, short call shouldn't reassure you either. The point of a call isn't the call. It's that someone real is happy to have one.
What to do
- Ask for a video call early, before you're invested. Suggest a specific time and see what happens.
- Use the app's own verification (photo or video selfie), and don't accept 'verified' badges sent as screenshots.
- Do a reverse image search on their photos. Stolen photos usually turn up somewhere else.
- If the pattern continues alongside a money ask, stop there. What that ask usually looks like.
More in the tips: Dating and new online friends.
Latest reports
Newest first, unverified
No reports mention this yet.
If it happened to you, report the number. It shows up here once it's in.
Report a number